Today’s topic is something a little different, but I felt inspired to share.
Let me know if you enjoy this type of post and I’ll incorporate more of this kind of thing.
Don’t worry – we will be back to style in the next post!
Mondays seemed like a good day to take a moment to talk about “Mom Life” as I reflect on the weekend and head into a new week.
This weekend was particularly emotional for me… I have seen countless videos and articles on facebook on “Mom Guilt” that I have mixed feelings about.
Let me start by saying that I am NOT one to feel guilty for being a working mom.
I am incredibly proud of the fact that I am setting a good example for my girls by balancing a job that fulfills my need to create, drive business, and provide for my family with quality family time.
Except something was different last week. May was a month full of travel… more than usual.
I was gone for 3 weeks in a row with short reprieves at home just long enough to swap out my dirty clothes and jump on another plane. Then I got back and had countless follow ups and projects on my mind. After that my brain went completely to mush.
Last weekend I sat at home in a completely vegetative state and watched my beautiful family play with an energy I wished I had. I beat myself up mentally for not playing enough and not being engaged enough and all of the other reasons I was a bad mom & wife.
Let’s be clear – I take immense pride in my job as a family woman and it’s the most important job in my life. Feeling like I wasn’t doing that job well enough affected me in a big way.
I had a conversation about this with a friend who said… “Well, isn’t that the definition of a healthy relationship?”
I was puzzled and said “Uhmm… HUH!?…”
She said “What I mean is… it shows that you care because you constantly want to improve. I hope the guilt never goes away – don’t let it consume you, but it shows that you have a healthy appreciation for what you have and that you can always do better. It means you aren’t complacent.”
In those short sentences, I felt a wave of relief. I felt like… ok, point taken. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I’m going to take this feeling and do something productive with it.
Right when I had been feeling particularly sorry for myself, my oldest daughter said “Mom, I wish you played with me more.” I said “I’m sorry, I know I can do better.” She replied “MOM! No! You’re the best! We do lots of other things together, we just don’t play that much and I would like to play.”
So this past weekend we played. And we played some more. We built legos, we played monopoly, we had a tickle fest. And we cuddled. A lot. And I reminded myself that though I know there is always room for improvement, there are still a lot of things I do right.
I hope I never stop feeling (a little) guilty so that I know I’m not taking my blessings for granted.
I guess the point of sharing is this – don’t be too hard on yourself. If you feel guilt about not being the best you can be in some aspect of your life, don’t let it consume you – use it to fuel you to constantly improve.
It means that you care and that you’re not settling for “just ok.” And in my opinion, that is a great thing.
I hope you all have a wonderful week and get to spend time fully engaged and present in whatever it is that you love most!